[ 18 April 2023 ]

Brendan Haggerty

From the Abyss to the Inbox:

Common Email Marketing Mistakes of Small Business Owners

Once upon a midnight dreary, as I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of marketing lore.
Soon I nodded, nearly napping, when there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my inbox door.

Ah, distinctly, I remember it was a business owner in December
Looking to engage, promote and lure with links to the items in their store.
But alas! Mistakes aplenty, oh so sad, misguided, and grave,
The campaigns lacked finesse, and creativity was out the door.
And from his perch, quote the Raven, “Nevermore.”

Mistake #1: Thou Shalt Not Spam

Into the spam folder, their emails sank,
Their messages bland, and their designs mostly blank.
Sending emails without consent ’tis truly a deadly sin,
In the land of email marketing, a surefire way not to win.
So, dear business owners, take heed and be wise,
Get permission, lest your emails meet their bleak demise.

Improvement #1: Seek Consent

Before thou sendeth, asketh permission,
For each and every email and its mission.
Build a list of loyal subscribers, willing and true,
Who crave thy content and desire to hear from you.
With double opt-ins and clear consent,
Thy emails shall reacheth the inbox, and your efforts not spent.

Mistake #2: Thou Shalt Not Be Bland

Boring subject lines, lackluster content,
Shall earn thee naught but swift contempt.
Into the trash folder, ignored and dismissed,
No open rates, no click-throughs, a marketer’s true abyss.
So, dear business owners, take heed and take heart,
Thy emails must captivate with a creative spark.

Improvement #2: Be Creative and Relevant

Craft subject lines with care and finesse,
To pique curiosity and create interest, no less.
Personalize and segment, make them ring relevant and true,
To each recipient’s needs, desires, and worldview.
Create engaging content that inspires and delights,
With storytelling, visuals, and calls to action, you reach new heights.

Mistake #3: Thou Shalt Not Be Inconsistent

Inconsistent sending, a fatal flaw,
Thy subscribers shall forget, and thy efforts fall raw.
Thou must keepeth the momentum, week after week,
Else thy emails shall languish, weak and meek.
To be successful, one must take heed and my note,
Consistency is key and shall keep thee afloat.

Improvement #3: Maintain Consistency and Test

Set a regular schedule, stick to the plan,
Send emails consistently, like a loyal fan.
Test thy emails for formatting and display,
Across devices and clients, day by day.
Keep track of metrics, measure and learn,
To optimize thy campaigns and make them churn.

And so, dear readers, heed my tale of woe,
Avoid these mistakes, and watch thy email marketing returns grow.
With permission, creativity, and consistency, thy campaigns shall soar,
Delivering results and earning customers galore.
Thy small business shall flourish, thy efforts not in vain,
In the land of email marketing, thou shall reign.

Remember, in the inbox, as in life, attention sets one apart
Permission and relevance in your messaging can win the heart
Note these lessons in your journal, and keep them to the fore

And thus quoth the Raven, “Your Email Shall Suck – Nevermore.”